The Power of Flexible Thinking
The notion that multiple truths can coexist at the same time might seem perplexing — especially when those truths seem to contradict on another. Yet, embracing this idea—and developing the flexible thinking to support it—can profoundly enhance our understanding of the world and our interactions within it. Let’s dive into why flexible thinking is essential and how recognizing multiple truths can lead to more nuanced and empathetic perspectives.
What does it mean to hold multiple truths?
The concept of multiple truths suggests that different perspectives or statements can all be valid, even if they seem to conflict with each other. As humans, it’s natural and actually healthy to experience a range of emotions at the same time — it’s what make us dynamic and dimensional. Our feelings are pieces of information! We need to learn how to adapt what I call “the duality of feelings” — joy and sadness, excitement and anxiety, love and frustration. Learning ways to reconcile these emotions simultaneously will only lend to our adaptability. Let’s work through an example on working through a social situation:
Consider Alex, who often feels overwhelmed in social settings is attending a networking event for work. On one hand, Alex recognizes the event as a valuable opportunity for career advancement and understands that making connections could be beneficial for future projects and professional growth. This understanding motivates Alex to attend the event despite their anxiety.
On the other hand, Alex also feels a profound sense of discomfort and self-doubt in social situations. They worry about being judged, making awkward small talk, and not fitting in with the crowd. These feelings of discomfort and apprehension are very real for Alex and contribute to their anxiety.
For Alex, both truths coexist: the event is a promising opportunity that could lead to positive career outcomes, and at the same time, it is a source of significant stress and anxiety. Acknowledging these multiple truths helps Alex approach the situation with a more balanced view. They might use strategies to manage their anxiety, such as deep breathing or preparing conversation starters, while also reminding themselves of the potential benefits of attending. By accepting and validating both their excitement and anxiety, Alex can navigate social situations more effectively, finding ways to cope with their fears while pursuing their professional goals.
There are many considerations should Alex struggled to acknowledge both truths—recognizing 1. The professional benefits of attending the networking event as well as 2. The anxiety and discomfort he feels—here are a few to point out:
Increased Stress and Avoidance: Ignoring the anxiety while focusing solely on the potential benefits might lead to heightened stress and overwhelm. Alex might push himself to attend the event without addressing his anxiety, which could exacerbate his feelings of discomfort and make the experience more distressing. This might also lead to avoidance of similar situations in the future, as the unaddressed anxiety becomes a barrier to engaging in professional opportunities.
Unrealistic Expectations: By not acknowledging his anxiety, Alex might set unrealistic expectations for himself, like assuming he should feel comfortable and confident in social situations. Instead of embracing his struggle, the pressure and expectation he puts on himself heightens leading to increased frustration, self-criticism, and a diminished sense of self-efficacy.
Missed Coping Strategies: Ignoring the duality of his experience, Alex may miss the opportunity to employ effective coping strategies to address each concern individually. For example, if Alex does not acknowledge his anxiety, he might not use techniques like deep breathing, preparing conversation topics, or seeking support, which could help manage his discomfort and make the event more manageable.
Ineffective Decision-Making: If Alex focuses solely on the perceived benefits and ignores his anxiety, he may make decisions based on incomplete information. Acknowledging both truths allows Alex to weigh his choices more comprehensively, considering both the professional opportunities and his emotional well-being, leading to more informed and balanced decisions.
By recognizing and accepting both the excitement and anxiety associated with the networking event, Alex can approach the situation with greater self-awareness and resilience. This balanced perspective enables him to manage his anxiety more effectively, utilize coping strategies, and make decisions that align with both his professional goals and personal well-being.
Embracing the middle ground of our feelings.
If you find yourself struggling with the concept of multiple truths, it might indicate a tendency towards more rigid thought patterns — sometimes we call this “black and white thinking”, “all or nothing thinking” or “this or that thinking”. Learning to tolerate the "grey matter" of our feelings, rather than forcing them into black-and-white categories, is where true insight and understanding emerge.
Therapy can offer valuable support in addressing these challenges by providing a safe space to explore and understand your thought processes. This rigidity can limit your ability to adapt and see the complexities in various situations, potentially leading to conflicts and missed opportunities for growth. Therapy can be particularly helpful in exploring and addressing these challenges allowing you to open up new avenues for personal development and deeper, more empathetic connections with others.