Emotions Are Information: Reframing How We See Our Feelings
The Problem with Viewing Emotions as “Bad”
Many of us have been told “don’t cry,” “toughen up,” or “don’t get angry,” leading us to believe that emotions are “bad”, something to suppress, ignore, or even eliminate. This belief can lead to us dismissing or suppressing our feelings, thinking they’re something to get rid of. But what if we looked at emotions differently? That the goal is not to get rid of our emotions but instead learn to accept them as part of our experience with vital pieces of intel and information.
So long as you are a human, you will experience emotions (whether we like this or not!). Emotions are not good or bad. They are simply signals—messages from within that are helping us make sense of our experiences. They are part of being human, and they exist for a reason. When we push them away or try to ignore them, we miss out on valuable insights into how we’re truly feeling about a situation or person. Instead, when we accept them as “normal” and part of our experience we can better understand our needs, our boundaries, and our desires more clearly.
In this post, we’ll explore how reframing our emotions as sources of information can lead to greater self-awareness and emotional growth.
Reframing Emotions as Information
Instead of seeing emotions as problems, we can start to view them as clues. Emotions can help us understand:
How we feel about certain situations: Are we excited about a new opportunity? Are we stressed about an upcoming deadline? Emotions give us insight into what we care about.
What we need to heal or address: Sometimes, feelings of sadness or frustration can point to deeper emotional wounds or unresolved issues. When we listen to them, we can begin to address what needs healing.
For example, if you feel angry after a conversation, it’s not just about “being mad”—it’s an opportunity to explore why you’re angry. Did the conversation feel triggering? Is the topic you were talking about particularly sensitive? Did you feel disrespected or unheard? Your anger is telling you that something needs attention.
Why Emotions Matter: They Guide Us Toward What We Need
When we embrace our emotions as sources of information, we become more connected to what’s going on inside. Rather than pushing our emotions away, we can begin to use them as tools to understand our reactions and make better decisions. By listening to our feelings and considering what they’re telling us, we can respond more thoughtfully and with greater clarity.
Over time, as we practice tuning into our emotions, we can also learn to trust them. Instead of viewing our feelings as inconvenient interruptions or obstacles that we need to “fix,” we begin to see them as natural and essential parts of our human experience. Emotions aren’t out to cause trouble—they’re simply signals that point us toward what we need, what’s important to us, and where we might need to grow or heal — they all have a purpose and eventually they all subside.
How to Listen to Your Emotions
The first step in using emotions as information is to actually listen to them. Instead of brushing off or ignoring what you’re feeling, take a moment to check in with yourself. Here’s how to start:
Notice and Name Your Emotion
When you’re feeling a strong emotion, pause and identify it. Are you frustrated, anxious, excited, or sad? Giving your emotion a name helps you get more specific about what you’re experiencing. It’s also possible that there are multiple feelings arising at the same time.Ask, “What Is This Emotion Telling Me?”
Once you’ve identified the emotion, ask yourself, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” For example, if you’re feeling frustrated, it might mean that you’re not getting what you need or that a situation isn’t going the way you hoped. If you’re feeling nervous, it could mean you’re facing something new and uncertain.Reflect on What You Need, Not What You Should Do
When we feel an intense emotion—whether it's sadness, frustration, fear, or anxiety—our first instinct is often to do something about it. We want to solve the problem, fix the situation, or make the feeling go away as quickly as possible. We think, “I’m feeling anxious, I need to do something to calm down.” Or, “I’m angry, I need to act on this anger right now.”But here’s the truth: sometimes, it’s not about doing anything at all. Sometimes, the most helpful response to an emotion is to reflect on what you actually need in that moment, rather than jumping into action.
For example:
If you’re feeling sad, your need might not be to “fix” your sadness, but to allow yourself to feel it and give yourself the time and space to grieve.
If you’re feeling anxious, you might need some quiet or a break, not necessarily to jump into problem-solving mode, but to give yourself permission to rest and reset.
If you’re feeling angry, your need might be to reflect on why you’re upset—what’s the boundary that was crossed—before acting on the emotion, giving you time to make a thoughtful response instead of reacting impulsively.
Express Your Emotions
Sometimes, just expressing how you feel can provide relief and clarity. Whether it’s through talking, journaling, or simply taking a moment to reflect, allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions helps you process them fully.
Emotions in Therapy: Learning to Decode Them
In therapy, one of the things we often work on is building emotional awareness. Learning to recognize, understand, and respond to your feelings is a powerful tool for growth. When you can see your emotions as helpful messages, rather than problems, it opens up new opportunities for self-discovery and healing.
Together, we explore the emotions that come up in your life, understand their messages, and develop healthier ways to respond. This can lead to better communication, stronger relationships, and a deeper connection to yourself.
Conclusion: Embrace Your Emotions as Guides
Rather than viewing emotions as something to be avoided or “fixed,” we can start seeing them as valuable guides—sources of information that help us understand ourselves and our needs more clearly. Emotions are not something to fear; they’re opportunities to learn and grow.
If you’re ready to explore your emotions in a deeper way or need support in understanding them, therapy can help. Together, we can uncover what your feelings are trying to teach you and work toward a more balanced, authentic way of living.